CX Sins: 10 Things Companies Should NEVER D

Let’s be real for a second: we’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of your day, and suddenly something goes wrong with a product or service. You decide to *“get help”*, but little do you know, you’re about to embark on the ultimate patience test. Companies, if you’re reading this, please don’t do these things—*ever*. This is a cheat sheet for creating customer frustration, and it’s time to break these habits.

1. The Dreaded Call Tree Maze

You call a company’s hotline, and before you can even breathe, you’re hit with a labyrinth of button prompts. Press 1 for this, 2 for that… after you go through the motions, they ask for your credit card number, your birthday, your social (last four, of course), and your first-born child (kidding… kind of). But wait—finally, a human! Only to repeat **all** that info again because the system never passed it along. This isn’t a security check, it’s *Groundhog Day*. Lack of system integration much?

2. Playing Hide and Seek with Customer Support

You know that sinking feeling when you *just* want to talk to someone, but the company has buried the phone number so deep on their website, it feels like a treasure hunt? Sometimes they don’t even bother giving you the option and force you into an email or chat. Look, email’s fine for an update, but when your washing machine’s flooded your laundry room, chatting with a bot feels like a slap in the face. Give us real options!

3. The Form That Knows Too Much

Ever had to fill out an online form that already *knows* who you are? It’s like, *“Dude, you already have my address, why make me type it in again?”* This is the digital equivalent of asking someone for their name at a party after they’ve introduced themselves *three* times. We get it, there’s info to collect, but don’t make us dance through unnecessary hoops. Especially when you already have the data.

4. Fine Print: The Modern Trapdoor

Here’s a game we’ve all played: scrolling past a wall of fine print just to click “Agree.” Spoiler alert: nobody’s reading it. Important clauses or terms buried in tiny font or in a novel-length disclosure? That’s sneaky. And we know why it’s there—to catch us later. It’s a ticking time bomb that’ll explode just when you need to return that item or cancel that service. *Boom*. Surprise!

5. CAPTCHA: The Psychedelic Nightmare

Let’s talk CAPTCHA. You know, those squiggly, psychedelic numbers and letters you’re supposed to decipher to prove you’re not a robot? Joke’s on us, we can barely read them. News flash: we aren’t all detectives! It’s 2024, if you’re still using these skewed numbers, just know you’ve lost half your audience. We’ve got AI building rockets, but can’t figure out a CAPTCHA? Come on.

6. The Trial That Isn’t Really Free

Ah, the good ol’ “free trial.” Except it’s not really free, is it? You’re required to input your credit card details, and boom—they’ve got you. They’re banking on you forgetting to cancel before the end of the trial. And when you do try to cancel? Good luck navigating their maze of terms and fine print. Feels less like a free trial and more like a *trap*. If your product is good, you won’t need tricks.

7. Chatbots: The Robotic Runaround

Don’t get me wrong, chatbots can be helpful—when they work. But some are so rudimentary, they might as well be a digital version of a broken record. If your chatbot only addresses two or three use cases before sending me to an agent, why even have it? It’s like giving someone a half-built car and expecting them to drive. Either make it useful or take it down.

8. Hidden Fees: The Ultimate Betrayal

Ah, hidden fees. You think you’re paying $100, then wham, your bill comes in with an extra $25 in “service fees” or “processing fees.” Is this a late-night infomercial or are we dealing with a legitimate company? No one likes surprises when it comes to their wallet. If there’s one thing customers *will* remember, it’s that sneaky extra charge.

9. Robotic Customer Service Scripts

There’s nothing worse than talking to a customer service rep who’s clearly tied to a script. You can almost hear the mental checkboxes they’re ticking off as they read their lines. The moment you ask for something outside the norm, they freeze. And heaven forbid they do you a favor or use independent judgment! Empower your agents, and let them break the script when necessary. We want real human conversations, not robotic exchanges.

10. Transfer Purgatory (and the Ultimate Hang-Up)

“Please hold while I transfer you to another department.” And transfer. And transfer again. By the time you reach someone who *might* be able to help, you’ve told your story five times. Then, the ultimate betrayal: they hang up after an eternity of holds. *You’ve got to be kidding me!* Transfers should be smooth, not a never-ending loop of frustration.

The Bottom Line

Customers aren’t asking for the moon, just a little respect and common sense. These aren’t just annoyances—they’re reasons people leave, reasons they choose the competition, and reasons they tweet about their bad experience (and you *don’t* want to go viral for the wrong reasons). So, companies, take note. The list of things *not* to do in customer experience is long, but the fix is simple: follow the Platinum Rule—treat people how they want to be treated.

Let’s break the cycle.